CRAZY HOMOSEXUAL KIDNAPS STRAIGHT PEOPLE TO FORCE TO COMPETE IN BARBARIC GAMES. ASF HOT SEAT: THE GAYME SHOW

Dylan Garsee is the self proclaimed "Crazy Homosexual" from the title of the article but he is more like a mad genius of outlandish comedy and a gem of the Austin comedy scene. His thoughts are each pearls dangling on the exquisite necklace so we were happy to take a few pearls of wisdom from him. 

When did you first start working together?

I write and direct all of Gayme Show, so I've been working with myself since December 5th, 1990.

Jonah and Jessica are the best cast a gay can ask for. Jonah is a man of many talents and he's too funny. Like when you see a bunny and it's so cute you just wanna kill it. That's Jonah. Except he's funny and does a killer Throbbing Gristle impression. We've been working together since 2015. We wrote and directed Dystopian Future Comedy Hour together last year and that was so much fun.

Jessica started with Gayme Show back in December of last year and is a god send and I bow to her. Seriously every fiber of her being is hilarious and I don't understand why she stoops down to my level. Same thing with Jonah. I don't understand why y'all hang out with me. I'm very annoying and stubborn. I know y'all have better ways to spend the first Fridays of every month at ColdTowne Theater 4803 Airport Blvd 11:30pm $5 at the door or online BYOB.

How did you come up with your team name / show title?

It was spelled in a bowl of Alphabits that I threw up.

What was the first sketch idea you can remember having as a group or an individual?

perfumegenius

The first game I wrote was called "Pin The Used Condom on Mike Pence's Stupid Fucking Face. I super hate Mike Pence. I hate all bigots in general, racists, xenophobes. It's insane that we elected an Island of Misfit Toys to the highest office in the land. Mike Pence supports gay conversion therapy because he'd been reject on Grindr too many times, so I wanted to give him what he wanted. A gaggle of facials. Do children read this? Whatever, they'll need to grow up eventually.

But I stole a bunch of condoms from Iron Bear and filled them with Cetaphil, which I'm like 70% certain is just bottled semen. I had my frequent collaborator Nick Hanover make a poster of Mike Pence in drag, based on an image of Eminem frequently used by singer-songwriter Perfume Genius. I then blew the image up to poster sizes and had the contestants play pin the tail on the donkey with the condoms.

That was my starting point for Gayme Show.

 

What's your creative process like? How do you generate ideas and keep it fresh?

Guided meditations and gay porn.

In all seriousness, and I know how corny it sounds, it just comes to me in random times. I keep a notebook in my tote bag at all times, my bedside table, my desk at work, the vanity in front of my toilet (I live in a very small apartment). I used to run a pub trivia company with the aforementioned Nick Hanover and we wrote 2 full quizzes a week, so I'm used to pumping out games and comedy nonsense on a short timeline.

Who are your influences? Who are some of your favorite sketch comedy acts performing today? Who has blown your mind?

Charles Nelson Reilly, Hunter Hunt-Hendrix, Master Pancake, Greetings from Queer Mountain, Yma Sumac, Sade, Tori Amos, Margaret Smith, Anna Nicole Smith, Sailor Neptune, Christeene, Lulu from Final Fantasy X.

I saw Your Terrific Neighbors and I promise I'm not sucking up to the producers (Hi Courtney) at a So Juiced show once and it was so fucking funny. Like I don't even remember what the sketch was but I felt like I was watching a machine designed for humor. It was like the 1907 World's Fair and I had just seen a gum ball or shoe laces or something for the first time.

Master Pancake is my number one comedy goal. The first time I saw a show of theirs, it was for Night of the Living Dead, I cried laughing. It's what made me want to pursue comedy. I would literally give any organ of mine to be able to be on that stage with my heroes. I'll do what ever it takes. I'll Abraham my first child so hard you won't know what hit you. I know y'all know the guys, hook me up. Whatever the cost is I'll pay it. I'll sell my blood

Oh wait gay people can't donate blood.  

Do you have any fun "worst show" or "worst audience member" stories?

The last Gayme Show I did. So I made a giant bowl of fake cum that the contestants had to move with their hands to fill martini glasses held up on the faces of other contestants on the other side of the stage. The stage was absolutely covered in conditioner/coconut oil that it became unwalkable. I'm pretty sure someone threw up on someone else's face.

Worst audience member would go to me. I fell asleep at a friend's play. Like sawing logs, snoring during this play. But in my defense it was a terrible play.

Do you have any fun "best show" stories?

I've staged R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet for the past 2 years at the ColdTowne lock-in. Those shows are always fun. The latest year we did in full drag with the help of Kingz and Jarvis Mayhem. That was such a fun show. There was a scene where I was getting fucked (not really, ColdTowne is a place of Christ) and I was wearing a jockstrap because I'm very bad at tucking and needed some help. I flashed my asshole to a good portion of the crowd. From that moment on, that stage has been mine.

Are there any ideas that you've had that you can't seem to make work or convince the rest of the team / troupe is actually funny.

I want to build a giant anus for a game but I don't think it will work out. I'm going to Italy in the summer and I have to save my money for flowy Angela Basset pants and assorted smoked meats. Maybe I can build my anus when I get a TruTV show. Apparently thats the channel for homos with game shows now.

What should people interested in comedy know about performing sketch that you didn't know when you started?

Don't get jealous. Others success is not your failure. It doesn't matter how good you are or the person you compare yourself to is. Do you, honey. What getting jealous does is distract from the creative process.

It's comedy, have fun. Make friends. Don't leave your home for 6 months because of depression. Lose 25 pounds, gain 50, lose 30. Support your friends. Comedy is rhythmic. Find emoji that work for you. Have a mental breakdown. Break an iPad. Delete racist tweets. Wear sunscreen.

What else – comedy wise – are you looking forward to this year? What do you have cooking?

I'm on the writing staff with The Hot Conversation, a new monthly talk show out at Alamo Drafthouse Mueller. I'm also making the return to improv in the May/June ColdTowne main stage show The Last Video Store and I'm so so so so so excited.

I'm trying to get on the lineup for Sound on Sound Fest in November; it's my New Year's Resolution. I am in two different shows with people who performed there last year. How do I politely ask them to get me in touch with their booking department? Do y'all know anyone over there at Margin Walker? The fest follows me on twitter so I guess that's a start.

ALSO I'M PLAYING AT SKETCH FESTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT


Check out The Gayme Show Tuesday, May 23rd at 10:30 PM at ColdTowne Theater! Tix Here